“If you feel like you have to tell everyone you’re in charge, you’re probably not really in charge”
I’ve been resisting using this for a blog because my mind goes in all these different directions and I find it almost impossible to organize my thoughts clearly. It may surprise some of you but I don’t really struggle with feeling like I need to tell people I’m in charge ;-) So why does this keep coming up for me. I realized it doesn’t just apply to being in charge or work. There are other situations where you can find yourself compelled to convince someone what you are, or are not. It could be as simple as “no, really, I’m not cranky” which is typically followed up with “I’m gonna get cranky if you keep asking me about being cranky!” Or it could be more complicated like “Of course, I support you.” Recently I heard myself trying to convince someone of this very thing, my support and it’s gnawed at me since. Why did I have to try to convince, and unsuccessfully, I felt, at that? Why wasn’t my support and appreciation obvious?
After some self reflection and exploration, I realized I also felt a little unsupported myself and deep down, internally, I think (and I’m not proud of this) I was almost comparing the two. Trying to console myself by thinking “at least I’m more supportive”. Really? “More Supportive”? Is it a supportive competition? I asked myself. So disappointing! This isn’t who I want to be. I want to be supportive, sincerely supportive, unconditionally supportive! And as I contemplated how to become who I wanted to be “Feel it, Live it, Be it!” popped into my head. First, I would try to resist the impulse to convince someone of my support and instead focus on feeling the support for that person and believing if I really feel it, it will come through. Next Live it, take action. Help, if it’s needed. Be proactive, reach out, listen, talk it through and reconfirm how great they are and how much they mean to me. And lastly just “be” it. Be supportive, no buts, no excepts, no bartering, no “only if”, just support, and appreciation and love!
P.S. yes, I know the picture has nothing to do with this but I love it!