Not unlike many young girls, and probably boys too, I grew up with not very positive self esteem. I’m not sure why or when it started, it just always was. No one ever bullied me or called me ugly, it was just something I felt inside. I hated to see pictures of myself or look in the mirror. Thin and athletic? Yes. But pretty? No way. I even remember feeling uncomfortable about using the word beautiful. Strange, right? Still today, every time I use the word beautiful, which I do with no hesitation, I’m reminded of when it used to be uncomfortable. And it wasn’t something I talked about or shared with anyone really that I remember. I’m not even sure I would’ve known to describe it as low self esteem.
Anyway, skip ahead to about 11 or so years ago. Katy’s son Trevor was either 3 or 4, somewhere in there. It was a couple of days before Christmas and I went to their house for dinner. Trevor came in to the room, after Katy, like the energetic little boy he was pleading “mom, please let’s give Tante Sylvi her present, please, can we, huh, can we, please?”. Katy agreed and he went to the tree to retrieve a small wrapped package. He came bounding over, sat on my knee and handed me the gift. He was beaming, fidgety and obviously full of excitement or maybe sugar ;-) I remember thinking it must be something he and I can share because he’s so excited. As I began to unwrap the paper, it's obvious he’s fighting the urge to rip it from my hands and do it faster. Finally, there it is, laying in the torn paper, a small, ornate, hand mirror surrounded by little pearls and rhinestones. He looks up at me and says “Merry Christmas, Tante Sylvi, do you like it, it’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” I look into his bright shining eyes, and say “yes, of course it is. Thank-you”. He politely said "your welcome" as he jumped down and went off to play.
I looked at Katy quizzically and she said “OK, let me tell you the story”. Oh, I’m all ears, I said. She continued - The other day while going through Ross, Trevor picked up this mirror and said “Mom, we have to get this for Tante Sylvi, don’t you think she’ll love it”. Katy told him lets keep looking I don’t know if this is the right thing for Tante Sylvi. He replied with “no, mom, it is, really, this is the gift we have to get her”. Katy tried to explain to him one of the rhinestones was missing at the top but he was so insistent she conceded to stop by the hobby store on the way home. They couldn’t find a rhinestone but found a little charm to put into it (see photo below for charm image). Katy told me she tried a couple of times to ask Trevor why he was so adamant about this gift for me but all he would say is that it was perfect and they had to get it for me.
Katy finished telling me the story with “I’m not sure why Trevor wanted this for you so much but I hope when you look into this mirror, you can see yourself through his eyes and see the beauty he sees.” Yes, tears followed as they are now.
It really struck a chord with me and got me thinking. So much so I decided my New Year’s resolution that year would be to every day, before I left the house, spend a moment to find something beautiful about myself. It wasn’t easy and some days I actually left the house and had to come back in. Some days it was just my earlobe. Oh yeah, I have some b----‘n ear lobes ;-) But it got easier and not only in myself, I found myself seeing more beauty in everyone around me. It was a great year and something I’ve carried with me since.
So, as we head into a New Year, it’s gonna be awesome by the way, and we’re making resolutions, some of which tend to be about exercise and losing weight, I wanted to share a (paraphrased quote) I heard which we reminded me of my mirror:
“Don’t just change how you look, Change how you see!”
Happy New Year, all my very beautiful friends and family!
Sylvia
Anyway, skip ahead to about 11 or so years ago. Katy’s son Trevor was either 3 or 4, somewhere in there. It was a couple of days before Christmas and I went to their house for dinner. Trevor came in to the room, after Katy, like the energetic little boy he was pleading “mom, please let’s give Tante Sylvi her present, please, can we, huh, can we, please?”. Katy agreed and he went to the tree to retrieve a small wrapped package. He came bounding over, sat on my knee and handed me the gift. He was beaming, fidgety and obviously full of excitement or maybe sugar ;-) I remember thinking it must be something he and I can share because he’s so excited. As I began to unwrap the paper, it's obvious he’s fighting the urge to rip it from my hands and do it faster. Finally, there it is, laying in the torn paper, a small, ornate, hand mirror surrounded by little pearls and rhinestones. He looks up at me and says “Merry Christmas, Tante Sylvi, do you like it, it’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” I look into his bright shining eyes, and say “yes, of course it is. Thank-you”. He politely said "your welcome" as he jumped down and went off to play.
I looked at Katy quizzically and she said “OK, let me tell you the story”. Oh, I’m all ears, I said. She continued - The other day while going through Ross, Trevor picked up this mirror and said “Mom, we have to get this for Tante Sylvi, don’t you think she’ll love it”. Katy told him lets keep looking I don’t know if this is the right thing for Tante Sylvi. He replied with “no, mom, it is, really, this is the gift we have to get her”. Katy tried to explain to him one of the rhinestones was missing at the top but he was so insistent she conceded to stop by the hobby store on the way home. They couldn’t find a rhinestone but found a little charm to put into it (see photo below for charm image). Katy told me she tried a couple of times to ask Trevor why he was so adamant about this gift for me but all he would say is that it was perfect and they had to get it for me.
Katy finished telling me the story with “I’m not sure why Trevor wanted this for you so much but I hope when you look into this mirror, you can see yourself through his eyes and see the beauty he sees.” Yes, tears followed as they are now.
It really struck a chord with me and got me thinking. So much so I decided my New Year’s resolution that year would be to every day, before I left the house, spend a moment to find something beautiful about myself. It wasn’t easy and some days I actually left the house and had to come back in. Some days it was just my earlobe. Oh yeah, I have some b----‘n ear lobes ;-) But it got easier and not only in myself, I found myself seeing more beauty in everyone around me. It was a great year and something I’ve carried with me since.
So, as we head into a New Year, it’s gonna be awesome by the way, and we’re making resolutions, some of which tend to be about exercise and losing weight, I wanted to share a (paraphrased quote) I heard which we reminded me of my mirror:
“Don’t just change how you look, Change how you see!”
Happy New Year, all my very beautiful friends and family!
Sylvia