I started thinking more about that first trip to the Connecticut office. George, the man who requested I come to the office, and who I came to respect as a mentor, and friend, over the many following years, asked me why I wasn’t married with a family. Yup, just that blunt too. I had my answer ready, “it’s because I have to travel for work so much, I can’t even have a plant.” Little did I know the debate this would spark. Him insisting that I didn’t travel because I “had to for work” but because I “wanted to travel” and found a way to make it happen in my work maybe because I didn’t really want a home life. Me insisting no, I want a home and family and children. He went on to recount what he described as the story of how Sigmund Freud discovered the subconscious. Freud was sitting watching a hypnotist show. The hypnotist gave one man a post hypnotic suggestion to get up from his seat and tighten a lightbulb on the stage once the hypnotist said a specific word. The hypnotist
woke everyone up and sent them back to their seats with applause and sure enough when the specific word was spoken the man got out of his seat, went to the stage, pulled a ladder from the back, climbed the ladder and tightened the light bulb. After the show, Freud found the man and asked him how it felt to be hypnotized. The man refused to admit he was hypnotized. Instead he gave
every logical reason in the world for why he did what he did like he was worried the light would fall and hurt someone. George then told me how he believe this story related to me and how I say “I have to travel for work”. It
would be a couple more visits and conversations before I could see and admit
this was true in some way for me.
Now, as I’m leaving LAX, I find myself realizing how full circle I’ve come and just a little embarrassed at all the whining I’ve been doing recently about not being able to be home more. Afterall I do make my own schedule. Am I really frustrated at not being home more or am I frustrated whith myself not finding a balance when it’s all in my control and in not making the most of it when I am home?
And one of my New Year’s resolutions is born. This next year, instead of whining, I’ll embrace how lucky I am to be able to travel. To meet new wonderful individuals I enjoy working with; to reconnect with co-works and friends from my past who I simply adore and to be able to take advantage of my schedule in such a way last week I was able to fly from LAX to Utah and spend the whole day with my mom as a surprise and see the lights she put up on the house for the holidays.
Happy New Year everyone!
P.S. If you want to make a New Year's resolution and our looking for ideas, Tara Mohr has 13 questions for the New Year which you might find helpful. If you're interested, click here.